Mirror Mirror on the Walls

Vista, CA- I have the honor of housesitting for a friend of mine. They have pets, one of which is a large dog. I love big dogs. Women often call me a dog and now I see why. I get along great with big dogs! It takes one to know one.

Anyway, this house I'm in has mirrors EVERYWHERE! Many of the doors, and doors to closets and pantries, are complete mirrors. Every room I go into, everywhere I try to stand is a mirror. There are mirrors all over the place. I'm surprised there aren't any mirrors on ceiling. The tile floor is very clean, almost mirror like. Good thing I'm not wearing a skirt today.

(I'm kidding, I'm a guy. I'm not wearing a skirt.)

The members of this household are a very respectable Christian family. It's not like they use the mirrors for seances or anything. Could the ladies of the household be that vain: that they have to look at themselves all the time? Or is it the men who are in love with their appearance? I don't know.

Why are there so many mirrors? I remember how my dad hated mirrors. He didn't even like to sit in a restaurant that had a mirror where he could see it. When my mom would buy a mirror, he'd make her get rid of it. Was my dad a Vampire? Wait, that doesn't make sense. Supposedly Vampires can't see their reflection. Can non-vampires see the reflections of vampires? Back in my apartment, I have a book that would clarify that for me. Yeah, I use to hunt vampires for a living. Not so much anymore because CA passed a law that makes vampire slaying illegal. Whutevah.

At night, I find myself wondering around the household, checking to make sure the windows and doors are locked, and that all else is well. I have minimum lighting. The dimmed incandescent lights cast out a weak candle like glow down each corridor. In some areas, the dim lighting gives the house a warm feel, like I'm actually in a Thomas Kinkade painting.

However, there are times when I leave my guest bed to wander into the kitchen, perhaps for a snack. Alone in the dark, I am often startled by my own reflections in the mirrors. One night, I was walking out of the bedroom and didn't realize that there was a mirror to my left. I thought some guy was walking up to me. Since I still have my Marine Corps Martial Arts training programmed into my hard drive, I immediately got ready to strike and take down the shadowy figure. To my relief, the horrid creature was just me....my reflection.

It's creepy. I see myself in the present mirrors across the room and to the sides of me. I often test my reflections to make sure they are my own. I make funny faces at myself like a teenage girl in a Facebook photograph. I test the movements and speed of my reflection every now and then just to make sure all is well.
If my reflection hesitates for even a moment, or even dares to refuse to walk like an egyptian, I will bolt out the door in a heartbeat, in my mini skirt and all. LOL.