The Broken

Tonight, I'm on NetFlix and I'm watching the most BIZARRE movie ever. Yup, I'm watching a movie from my DroidX phone; awesome.

Well, I wanted to see an action movie that I've never seen before so I began searching the list of titles. I came across a movie starring actress Lena Headey. You might remember her from the movie 300.



She's very tall, healthy, and comes across the silver screen in a powerfully, gorgeous manner. So I decided to view this movie she's in. The movie is called, The Broken! ...ooooooh....

Yeah, sounded really cool and interesting... but it's not!
This movie is totally BIZARRE!




First of all, it starts off incredibly slow. After for what seemed like forever, a mirror in the dining room finally broke. While using a payphone, a girl that looks exactly like her drives by a Jeep Cherokee. She trips out because it's the same vehicle she drives and the driver looks exactly like her.



All this stuff is happening, nothing's really happening, I don't know what's happening, things are just happening. I'm daydreaming about work, fishing, and....oh, there is one thing happening in the entire movie. Lena Headey's character is walking around everywhere with high heels. You hear them clack through the whole movie.

CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, Nothing's happening, something about a birth defect with the heart, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, she's walking here, walking there, maybe that's why she has such great legs: all the walking in this movie. CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, what's going on? Another mirror broke!

Finally, most of the movies budget went into a scene where she crashes her Jeep Cherokee.

Then, you guest it... CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, where is she going, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, nothing's happening.



She's naked in some scenes, but you don't see anything. She opens the mirror in the bathroom to grab some asprin, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention, but I assume she's going to close the mirror and the dead asian chick will be behind her, or in the reflection.

NOPE!!!!! She closes the mirror and NOTHING HAPPENS! Seriously? I'm surprised she's not naked with only her high heels on. No clacking in this scene, THANK GOD!



She's all cut up from the wreck. I keep waiting for her reflection to distort or bleed all over the place, but nothing happens. There's just a lot of great shots of her face and neck. Lena Headey has a great neck in all her movies... well, this is the second movie I've seen her in.



She has a pretty neck. I'm not crazy crazy about it but it is nice enough to notice. I'm surprised she's not in more movies. Ironically, she's in this one. Oh, I almost forgot...

CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, ...yeah, she just went upstairs only to turn around and walk back down stairs. I wonder if In N Out is still open? Can you believe there's an In N Out right outside the fitness gym I work out at? Is that injustice, or what?



More mirrors are breaking; is it Friday yet? I thought it said this movie was an hour and a half... I feel like it's longer than the second Lord of the Rings movie.

She's a doctor in this movie. The director spends about four hours filming a spilled cup of coffee. She just stares at it. CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK.



This movie is bizarre. I think all her friends are dying but no...her friends are not dying. It's actually really predictable and I CAN'T TURN IT OFF!

Oh, JOY she's in the subway, now! CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK. But the exit is locked, so she has to walk back to where she came from! You guessed it: CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK,CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK.



Finally, the ending wraps up with intensity. I actually think the end could save the movie.... no, it's predictable. What I predicted is EXACTLY what ends up happening. Dang, really?

This movie is so bizarre and horrible... it's actually not bad.



CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK, CLACK!